Another's point of view

I am always praying for patience with people. To show them more compassion. To be kind and listen to people.

I fail at it daily.

I feel I fail so miserably that I can never be what/how I want to be.

Then God sends words my way to encourage me that even though I still have some things to work on, I have grown.

My dearest friend says to me yesterday "You are so good at keeping quiet and praying through your emotions when someone confronts you or upsets you or has news you don't want to hear. How do you stay calm and collected? Have you always been this way?".

I chuckled. I don't see myself that way AT ALL.

I see an impatient, judgmental, harsh person. I don't feel calm. I started thinking back. No, I haven't always been like this. I used to be snippy, back-talk and sarcastic. I would wear my thoughts all over my face and if I didn't like you or what was being said it would show. I would say that I've been better at holding my tongue and thinking through my words more in the last 6 years. That is how long I've really given my life back to Christ and pursued a serious relationship with Him.

How do I do it? I have no idea and at the same time I know exactly how!
    It certainly isn't me. My flesh is impatient. My flesh is mean. My flesh only wants to deal with people I like. BUT, the God in me is beyond patient. The God in me is compassionate. The God in me loves EVERYONE.

I still have to fight the flesh and let the God in me show, but as I grow with Christ and seek Him and His ways it becomes easier and easier.

I've prayed a lot lately to be better and God used my sweet friend to remind I am getting better because He is making me better. She looked to me for advice and she in turn, without even knowing it, encouraged me :)