Too fat for an X-ray?

So… the only gear I've gotten my butt in is park! I had a very harsh wake up call the other day. I've been having severe back pain and muscle spasms. Although the dr. is indicating its an alignment issue, I'm sure weight has a part to play. I went to see the chiropractor and he wanted an X-ray. The films came back and he says to me "I don't mean to embarrass you, but my equipment isn't strong enough to see through your body clearly". In other words… the X-ray couldn't get through my fat!

Seriously?

Even though the dr was not a skinny man, I was humiliated. So, now that I'm feeling a new motivation to move… I CAN'T! 

As I invent new uses for a back scratcher; to raise the toilet seat because I can't bend down to get it myself, scratch my leg because I can't bend, scoot the pillow closer so I can grab it... I'm picturing myself as a ridiculously obese woman permanently camped in her living room, unable to do anything. I know my current state is because of my back, but if I don't get myself together, that's where I'm headed.

I'm thinking about how I'm missing the tent revival this week, I'm begging to feel well enough to be able to teach my Sunday school class on Sunday. Again, right now, it's a back issue. But it can quickly become a weight issue. I'm sure the extra weight my body is carrying is making this issue worse.

My down time is enabling me to do a lot of thinking. I don't like where I see myself heading. I've got to do something or someone might come do a special on me… "The 500lb 30 yr old". 

Get my BUT in gear!

I have struggled all my life with weight. I started getting chubby around age 4 and it all went down hill, or should I say UP hill from there. My highest weight was 279lbs. At the time I write this, I'm around 260lbs. It's something I feel disgusted with. God has been challenging me to get this under control for a few years. I'm a firm believer that weight is not just a physical problem, but a spiritual one as well. I see the lack of self control in all areas of my life. Food, time with God, housekeeping, how I use my down time, etc… And the thing is, as much of a control freak as I can be about things that don't matter or that I can't control, you'd think I'd have a good grasp on the things I CAN control. I'm reminded of when Paul said in Romans 7 the things I want to do, I don't and things I don't want to do, I do. I feel ya Paul! I, just like everyone else, can come up with a list of reasons why I can't. "I would but, this is more convenient… I'm tired after a long day at work… I'm not a morning person… I don't have time… I don't know where to start… I feel silly being the fat person in the gym". On and on! Excuse after excuse. You know what, I'm tired of feeling sick. I'm sick of feeling tired. I know God made me beautiful, but its my job to do what's best for this Temple. I've done all the fad diets, tried some quick fixes, and I've also done it with good ol' "eat less, move more" and I can tell you from experience that the last option is definitely the best and most rewarding. So... I'm getting my BUT and my BUTT in gear. You are my accountability.

God doesn't expect us to always only think on spiritual things (reference the title of the blog), He also wants us to be mindful of our physical health. It's just as important. To quote Paul again "Whatsoever ye eat or drink or whatsoever ye do, do ALL to the glory of God".

"You don't love it, you like it"

I John 2:15 "Love not the world, neither the things that are in theworld.…"

I can recall the numerous as a child that when we would say "I love that song/show/et..." My mom would be quick to say "You don't love it, you like it. You don't love anything that doesn't love you back". Well, that momism came rushing back to me the other day when I made the statement "I love {food}". It hit me like a ton of bricks. God used that phrase, the one I always rolled my eyes at, to speak to my heart.

I say I love a food almost as much as I say I love Todd!!! How sad?! It really convicted me and caused me to reevaluate my thoughts and desires. What do I love and in what order?

If I'm being honest, most of the time I would say its Todd, food, God. That's shameful and embarrassing! Proper place is God, Todd, others, service, etc… Food shouldn't even be on the radar.

Food has one job, to give me nourishment.  That's it! It's not supposed to fill me emotionally, it's not needed to kill time. Food is not my comforter, God is!

So, thank you, Lord (and Momma) for reminding me to keep my priorities straight.