A Decade of Change

Today is a big day for this girl. Not only am I looking into a new year, but I'm also face to face with a new decade. Today is my 30th birthday.

As I've thought about this past year and what 2015 holds I also start to think about the last 10 years of my life and what the next 10 will bring. The last 10 years saw college, the death of my grandma, marriage, a new church, another new church, welcoming new friends and saying goodbye to old ones, drawing closer to God then I ever was before, enjoying three godbabies and a best friend I never knew I needed, and so much more! I had plans for my life, goals/milestones to hit by the time I was 30. I planned on marriage... check, I planned on being a homeowner... working on that, I planned on being a mother... Jeremiah will be here soon enough.

There are also things I didn't plan... I didn't plan to be Pentecostal, I didn't plan to be this unhealthy, I didn't plan to work in the ministry, I didn't plan to marry a man called to preach, I didn't plan to ever leave the life I grew up in (and town).

10 years has brought so many changes in my life. Some bad, mostly good, all for a purpose. My faith has been stretched and strengthened. My standards have evolved.

As I think about what the next 10 years will bring and being the big 3-0 I am excited. Truthfully, I feel like now that I'm officially 30 I'm an adult. Truthfully, I feel a bit nervous because time has moved so fast. I'm already 30! There's still so much to do!

My goals/plans/prayers for 2015 and my 30's...
-Welcome Jeremiah Ryan
-Get healthy
-Draw closer to God
-Practice a stronger prayer life
-Get a house of our own
-Use more boldness in witnessing
-More discipline/scheduled  housekeeping

Happy New Year! Praying blessings for 2015!

In the Presence of Jehovah

Luke 2:36 & 37 "And there was one Anna, a prophetess, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Aser: she was of a great age, and had lived with an husband seven years from her virginity; And she was a widow of about fourscore and four years, which departed not from the temple, but served God with fastings and prayers night and day."

Anna is one of my top three favorite women of the Bible (Mary "the mother of Jesus" and Hannah are my others).  I ache to bask in the presence of God just like she did. I spent my lunch hour today in worship and I felt so refreshed and charged, but I craved to spend more time with Him.

I envy Anna. I know if she had not lost her husband she probably would not have had the opportunity to spend night and day praying and fasting. I wouldn't want that to be the case for me at all! But I would love to spend more time with God. Just hours of worship, praying, meditating on Him, seeking Him in His Word. That sounds better than any spa day or island getaway.

As I dig deeper into her heart the first thing I notice is that upon loosing her husband 7 years into her marriage, she ran straight toward God. She knew that was where her comfort was. I am starting into year 7 with my hubby and I can't imagine being left without him. 7 years is such a short time. I admire her for not dwelling in her sorrow and falling into despair or sin.

She not only took refuge in God Himself, but also in the Temple. Her husband must have been the love of her life and I would guess that no one else (but God) could take his place. Also, maybe once her husband died she had nowhere else to go. That may have been the reason she never left the Temple. Her heart belonged to God and her love and she could give it to no one else. I completely get that!

She also gave herself wholly to prayer and fasting. Those two things are the two most powerful weapons in a Christians arsenal. Why did she devote herself so strongly to that? Again, as a woman whose heart is for God and her love I would venture to say it may have helped keep her mind off of loosing her husband. At least at first. Busy her mind with prayer and worship and she won't think about the pain. But I'm sure after 84 years of prayer and fasting it became something she loved to do out of reverence alone and not just to preoccupy her thoughts. 

Anna teaches me discipline. Anna teaches me how to deal with heartache. Anna teaches me a genuine desire for God. She is a woman to look up to. She was a mighty prayer warrior. What an example of a godly woman if there ever was one!

Sticks and Stones are Tree Trunks and Boulders

So, I've been really bothered lately about all the negative I hear from people... from me! Teasing people, calling people names. Mocking how a person is or how they look. People not being helpful and lending a hand. Grown adults that need a lesson or two in manners and just politeness in general.

People sharing mocking photos on Facebook of the President... Guilty
     He has feelings too
Stepping over trash in a parking lot because I didn't put it there... Guilty
    We are to be good stewards of what God has given us
Laughing at they way someone is dressed... Guilty
    The best and THEIR best are two different things
Holding a door for someone who is behind me because I'm in a hurry... Guilty
     It's not going to strap your time... and smile, they could use it!
Imitating someone's way talking... Guilty
    A person's speech does not always determine their intelligence
Scoffing at a person's personality... Guilty
    A person's personality is as unique as a snowflake, find the good in it.

I've taken a hard look at myself and how react/respond to people in every day life. People I converse on the phone with, people I see in the grocery store, people that walk into my church. Do help when I see a need? Do I turn away because they don't look/dress quite "nice enough"?

I judge them. I judge their clothes, I judge their speech, I judge their intelligence. They don't know... I would never tell them to their face what is in my head. But it is affecting them... What I'm thinking greatly effects how I treat them. How I show them love. How I help them.

Talking a few extra steps won't kill me. The Bible says if someone asks you to walk a mile with them, go with them two. That means, go above and beyond what is expected. Jesus went to the ones who didn't look a specific way. In fact... dirty, smelly shepherds were the first ones to see Jesus. Jesus touched the lepers, He walked into the ghetto, He hugged the homeless, He ate with the destitute... people considered (and literally) unclean.

I want to show the love of Christ to others, but am I actually showing the love of Christ?

What you think of people, what you say about people... whether they know it or not... it hurts them.

Define Barren

As I was diving head first into what I bet was the beginning stages of depression, I read a blog post about infertile women in the Bible and how ALL of them did have babies and those babies grew up to be great men of God. It changed my whole thinking about what I'm asking God for and not just praying for a baby, but praying for Jeremiah.
       *Side note: Just dawned on me that all the woman I'm aware of that dealt with barrenness were given boys :)

The blogger made note that as we pray for what it is we are longing for, the answer will come and will be a great tool for God to use. Think about Isaac, John the Baptist, Samuel, Joseph, Samson... what they did for God and how God used them. I started thinking about my Jeremiah and what he could become, and then that opened a whole new train of thought... Being barren is usually something attributed to the womb, infertility, but I looked up the word "Barren" and this is what it means... bleak and lifeless, too poor to produce much.

Is your marriage barren? Is your relationship with God barren? Are your finances barren? Is your church barren? Is your communication barren? Is your faith barren? Is your boldness barren? Is your Bible reading barren?

First, examine yourself first. Is it something you can fix or control?
Next, do like all the women whose wombs were barren did... cry out to God. Ask Him to help you. Ask Him to show you how to revive your connection with Him (the most important part). Don't just pray.... communicate with God. Yes, He knows what you want, but tell Him. Just like with kids "don't just grunt and point... use your words".
Lastly, thank God for the answer. Declare your answer will be just like Hannah's, Sarah's, Rachael's, Elizabeth's... be used mightily for the Kingdom. That your marriage, your bank account, your faith, your church, YOU will be a great tool for God to you use in reaching the lost and glorifying HIM.

A Higher Standard

I know Christians a lot of the times don't like to "confess" things that the Bible (or tradition) says is wrong. But, I feel God has laid it on my heart to share something that may help people (assuming anyone is reading this, lol)

A few weekends ago, me and my love went to Amish country. We were celebrating our 6th marriage anniversary. A few days before leaving I had this thought "When we get there, we could get some wine at a local shop to toast our marriage and celebrate. No one knows us there so we wouldn't feel like we had to hide our purchase or look over our shoulder". 

Now, before I continue, let me say one thing... The Bible truly isn't black and white clear on if drinking is a sin or not. There are scriptures that say its good in moderation, there are theologians that say there was a difference between fermented juice (alcoholic) and just fruit juice. What I'm about to state is how feel the Lord has spoke to me and why we did NOT buy wine and opted for Sparkling White Grape Juice instead.

There are things that the Bible says is sin, plain and simple and then there are things that tradition and society has stated Christians can't/shouldn't/don't do. And I'll be honest, I'm not sure 100% where alchohol falls... but I do know this....

Do not drink excessively (Ephesians 5:18)

If doing something (even though it isn't a sin) will ill effect another, don't do it (Romans 14)

The office of a Preacher/Bishop/Deacon is not to drink (I Timothy 3)

That last one is my biggest reason why I don't drink wine. I feel God has called me to preach. If I want to get as high in God as I can... I need to hold myself to that standard. 

Do I like wine? Yes. My mouth waters sometimes when I walk by that aisle at the store. Will I give into that temptation? No. I have a higher calling and if abstaining from that brings me closer to God and helps others to know Christ then not drinking wine (or any other alcohol) is something I'm more than happy to do.

A NOW Generation

God has really been dealing with me about receiving instantly. Not in the natural.... things from man, but supernatural, things from God. We are a now generation... have been for decades. Fast food, direct deposit, microwaves, Google... pretty much anything we want/need we expect it (and usually get it) fairly instantly. Why shouldn't we expect the same from God? People use to.
   -Jairus' dead daughter
   -The woman with the issue of blood
   -Lepers healed
   -The boy who fell from the window and died
   -The demon possessed man
   -The blind man sitting outside the city gates
I could go on and on... They told Jesus (or a disciple) what they needed and they got it.... instantly! It was said and done all within the same moment. We are such a now now now society so why not roll that over into our christian life? God did it then and He hasn't changed! We are the ones who have changed.

There are many reasons people don't get instant healing. They don't think God works like that anymore. They don't think it could be that easy. They don't think they deserve it. Regardless of the reason, it's all because of us and how we work our faith. I want to be so full of faith that the minute I ask for something, it's done. I can lay hands on a person they are instantly healed, restored, set free.

Think about it... If you believe God can give you salvation the instant you ask for it, why can't He heal you, free you, restore you instantly? Once we are saved the rest of it is automatically ours! Just accept it!

"I need to know what to call my nephew"

I can't explain how I feel after sharing our little one's name. For so long I didn't want to say anything for fear of the just in case... get my hopes up. Between sharing on my blog {Facebook} and telling a few people in person that I know have been praying for specifically us and a baby, I'm almost as giddy as if I were announcing the pregnancy itself. I'm excited to share we have named our son. To know there are friends and family that praying and now they can pray for Jeremiah by name. Hearing my best friend say "I need to know what to call my nephew" helped settle my heart from the doubt of "what if".

You may think "what if you have a girl?". Then we'll pick a girl's name :) But... I'm believing for a son.

I want all boys, but I definitely want our first to be a son. I want however many more we have to have a big brother to lead and protect them, I want my husband to have a son, I want to give my dad a grandson (he has all girls), I want the Langford name to go at least one more generation.

From the excitement shared from just telling you all Jeremiah's name, I can't wait until I can announce when he's coming. In the past 6 years I have never had such peace and excitement about it. It's truly given me fire (just like the Bible's Jeremiah).

Next act of faith... Buying the "Come Home" outfit :)

Jeremiah Ryan

So... a few days ago a Bible study group I'm in started into reading Luke. I was reading chapter one where Gabriel came to Elizabeth and Zacharias and told them they would have son. Zacharias doubted and in return God shut his mouth until his son was named... not just when he was born, but when Zacharias declared what his name would be... that's when God opened his mouth. Instantly God spoke to me... I have been made speechless because of my doubt where a baby is concerned. I am believing for a baby, a son but I have moments of doubt. When I name my seed, I'll be able to speak... declare the glory of God. Most don't know this.. in fact, I just told my best friend.... we have had name picked out for a son for about 3 years. I need to start speaking like my little boy is already here. So, I am naming my seed {out loud}. Join me in praying for my little Jeremiah Ryan. Pray he will be healthy, pray he will grow in Christ and become a man of God declaring how good our Lord is. I can't wait to hold my Jeremiah in my arms... until then, I will pray for him. Pray for the little boy and man he will be.

The Hardest Journey

This post is a different from the norm of what I usually write. My heart is tired, my patience is thin, I'm tired of smiling when I just want to ball up and cry and I need to just release some of what I'm feeling. So, don't get mad if I'm being harsh... this is 6 years of emotions spilling out here.

Some know what I've gone through the last 6 years, and by know I mean they are aware of why my husband and I don't have kids. Some have no idea we did not choose to wait 6+ years before expanding our family. This has got to be the hardest roller coaster of emotions I've ever had to ride. It goes on forever and I can't get off!

First... I appreciate you trying to give me words of comfort, but honestly it makes it worse.
   •Just because some magic plan worked for so-and-so, doesn't mean it will for me
   •If you think I should try medical intervention... then you pay for it
   •"Maybe if you lost some weight". It's actually not that easy for me
   •"Just Relax" isn't an option
   •Adoption isn't the same thing (and also requires $$$)
   •Saying "take mine for a while, that'll fix your baby desire" is the last thing I want/need to hear
   •"Do you really want to bring a child into this horrible world?" is also a stupid thing to say

I'm mad... Really really mad. Not AT people, but at people (if that makes sense).... I'm mad at the fertile Myrtles, I'm mad at the women who complain about their kids, I'm mad at the fact that I'm being bombarded by pregnant women recently, I'm mad at the pregnancy progress posts on Facebook. I'm mad that I can't do anything about it. I'm mad that my husband's faith is unwavering and he's content in the meantime. I'm mad that I feel that I can't cry about it (unless it's to myself... in the shower... as quietly as possible so my husband doesn't hear...).

Let me help you help me....
   •Its okay to not say anything. I've already heard it all (see above).
   •Its okay to cry with me. Empathy lets me know you care.
   •Pray for me. For comfort. For endurance. For peace.
   •You can bring up a pregnancy, just don't include the "I'm sorry it's not you" face.
   •If you are thinking about it me, let me know. I feel so alone in this.

Purging Is A Good Thing

I have become more aware in the last few weeks of how much time I spend on social media. Every once in a while my husband will ask me to set it down and have some face time with him and I do, but feel annoyed that he's acting like I'm ALWAYS nosing around Facebook or Instagram.

Welp... I'm ready to admit it...

Hi, I'm Becky and I'm a Social Media Addict

Ugh... I hate that I've been sucked into it. Constantly scrolling through my news feed to see what going on. Refreshing Instagram to see what hip picture is up. Spending hours on Pinterest with nothing to show for it.

I'm not planning on cutting all social media out, but I do plan on scaling down A LOT. Unfriending people who I haven't spoken to in months upon months, unfollowing people that I've never met. Lessening my time on Pinterest so those Bible Study & Health tips I've pinned can be put to use.

Pray for me as I detox. I want my immediate response during down time to be reaching for my Bible, not my phone. I want to spend time in prayer and seeking God not searching out the goings on of other's lives.

I need God time... not me time.

Perfect Timing

A year ago I started an online Bible study. I never thought then that it would be exactly what I needed in this current season of my life.

I'm battling hurts that I don't think were intentional, yet severely painful. I didn't think when I chose the book of Job for us to read through it would be so personal for me. 

In Job we find he has lost all he has, including his family, because Satan challenged God and God allowed Satan to do all except kill Job to prove he would stay faithful to God. His friends first seem very supportive. They mourned with him, sat with him while he grieved. Then after a week his friends (in my opinion) turn on him. They start accusing him of sinning against God and that's why God is doing this to him. Job stays steady in the fact that regardless of why God is destroying him (even though we know it wasn't God... it was Satan) he did nothing wrong and will not speak against him.

The part that has spoken to me was the other day when I was reading chapter 25. Job's "friends" were making me mad. People he thought were people he could rely on, men he respected had turned on him. I have felt like that. My husband and I made a decision we knew God was pleased with and in turn we have had friends and family treat us like strangers and I didn't realize just how angry and hurt I still was until I read that chapter. 

God has used that and words from two dear friends to help truly heal the hurt I feel. We are getting ready to peak into where Job turns to God and questions what is going on. I'm eager to learn exactly what is said between them. While I continue in Job, I will pray for healing, I will forgive even though it's not been asked for. I will move forward in building the Kingdom rather than stay and wallow in my self pity.

"Rapture Now"

One of my favorite preachers jokes about when he's found himself in positions he doesn't care for (whether awkward, boring or in trouble with his wife) he will say "Lord, Rapture... NOW!". Lately I've truly felt that way.

Seems like the last year has been one of ill doings in our county. Elected officials have committed crimes shaking our community. Hearing of sins committed and crimes going seemingly unpunished, my heart breaks. My spirit is weary.

It's been announced WV will now recognize gay marriage, a school district in Nebraska is banning referring to children as "boy" and "girl" and suggests using the term "purple penguin" as to be "gender inclusive". REALLY!?

My head is full of emotions... anger, sadness, fear, uncertainty, impatience...

Let me let you in on a secret...
   Touching a child inappropriately is SIN
   Stealing money is SIN
   Selling narcotics is SIN
   Homosexuality is SIN

Isaiah 5:20 says "Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!" Letting sin go unpunished is the same as saying it's good... 

My heart breaks as I try to wrap my mind around how people could behave this way toward another person. I cry out to God to come now... I'm ready. I know where my eternity will be.

My heart exposed

This has been a trying week spiritually for The Langford's. Daily one or both of us were faced with news or found ourselves in conversations that broke us and left us drained. Literally from the start of the week Satan got daily pleasure in seeing us ending the day with heavy hearts and questioning minds.

A dearly loved compromising on their faith and their stand for Christ.

A preacher swaying towards the world to draw a crowd.

A spirit of Anti-Christ spreading lies and deceit all over the world

Hurt, lost souls who aren't in church because of how they were treated because of their past.

My mind is full of thoughts and my heart is full of emotions. I want to shake people, wag fingers of judgement in their face, throw a few dozen Bibles at them and tell them to learn themselves a thing or two! But that is not what God has called me to do. Right now... He's called me to prayer and fasting. He's called me to seek Him while He deals with things.

Dearly Loved, 
   Don't forget what God has done for you and all He's blessed You with. Soon, if you don't truly do all to glory God, He will remove His anointing and covering. That is a scary place to be.

Preacher, 
   You don't need to speak secular jokes and words to win a crowd. That's not what matters. You worry about your audience of One and He will draw souls to you because they see HIM in you.

Man of Deceit,
   You may have fooled many, but God will overcome. As Christians rise up and call you on your lies, you will  be brought down. Repent... Blasphemy is not something to mess with.

Hurting One,
   On behalf of "my people" I'm sorry. It is not a Christian's job to judge and condemn. It is our job to love you to Christ and show you through the Word right from wrong. Those who turned you away will answer for that. Let me show you the love of Christ. A passionate love. A pure love. A love that draws you to salvation and The Lord.

MY Healing

Its been a while since I last posted on here. I'm seeking God about some ministry work He is wanting to do with me and I believe doing this is part of that. So... pray with me as I try to work a little more on this and make it into something I can use to minister to others through.

As the family got together for the 4th of July it was good to spend time with family I don't get to see often. As things were winding down and people were getting ready to leave my uncle made this statement... "I did something selfish and asked God to heal my foot". It genuinely broke my heart. So many people think its selfish to ask God for something for themselves. They think its only proper or "godly" if you ask God things for others. I'm ashamed to say that the only response I gave was "it certainly is not selfish to ask God for something for you". God showed me this was an opportunity to testify and show in scripture that is certainly not the case, but I flunked!

The last few days I've been thinking about that and the scriptures that show that is not true. Thinking asking for yourself is greedy is a religous mindset... "Genetically altered Christianity" as one preacher says. Here are some scriptures I've been thinking on and pray that someone else who may be thinking this way as well will come to see it is perfectly okay for you to ask God for something for you :)

But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. (‭Isaiah‬ ‭53‬:‭5‬ KJV)


Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed. (‭1 Peter‬ ‭2‬:‭24‬ KJV)


Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. (‭Hebrews‬ ‭4‬:‭16‬ KJV)


And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. (‭John‬ ‭14‬:‭13‬ KJV)

Nowhere does it say that if you ask, unless you ask for YOU, you can have it. My stripes were for anyone you prayed for, so have someone pray for you. It is for you! Have you ever been on a plane and the stewardess tells you in the event of an emergency help yourself first then the person next to you? What good are you mamed??? And truth be told, I don't want to depend on someone else to pray for me for MY healing. What if they don't like me or their faith is weak? I think I'll handle it for myself thank you :)

I pray this helps anyone, whether it's you or you know someone, who feels this way. Life is so much more freeing when you understand the Bible and not just go by religious traditional mumbo jumbo.