A Decade of Change

Today is a big day for this girl. Not only am I looking into a new year, but I'm also face to face with a new decade. Today is my 30th birthday.

As I've thought about this past year and what 2015 holds I also start to think about the last 10 years of my life and what the next 10 will bring. The last 10 years saw college, the death of my grandma, marriage, a new church, another new church, welcoming new friends and saying goodbye to old ones, drawing closer to God then I ever was before, enjoying three godbabies and a best friend I never knew I needed, and so much more! I had plans for my life, goals/milestones to hit by the time I was 30. I planned on marriage... check, I planned on being a homeowner... working on that, I planned on being a mother... Jeremiah will be here soon enough.

There are also things I didn't plan... I didn't plan to be Pentecostal, I didn't plan to be this unhealthy, I didn't plan to work in the ministry, I didn't plan to marry a man called to preach, I didn't plan to ever leave the life I grew up in (and town).

10 years has brought so many changes in my life. Some bad, mostly good, all for a purpose. My faith has been stretched and strengthened. My standards have evolved.

As I think about what the next 10 years will bring and being the big 3-0 I am excited. Truthfully, I feel like now that I'm officially 30 I'm an adult. Truthfully, I feel a bit nervous because time has moved so fast. I'm already 30! There's still so much to do!

My goals/plans/prayers for 2015 and my 30's...
-Welcome Jeremiah Ryan
-Get healthy
-Draw closer to God
-Practice a stronger prayer life
-Get a house of our own
-Use more boldness in witnessing
-More discipline/scheduled  housekeeping

Happy New Year! Praying blessings for 2015!

In the Presence of Jehovah

Luke 2:36 & 37 "And there was one Anna, a prophetess, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Aser: she was of a great age, and had lived with an husband seven years from her virginity; And she was a widow of about fourscore and four years, which departed not from the temple, but served God with fastings and prayers night and day."

Anna is one of my top three favorite women of the Bible (Mary "the mother of Jesus" and Hannah are my others).  I ache to bask in the presence of God just like she did. I spent my lunch hour today in worship and I felt so refreshed and charged, but I craved to spend more time with Him.

I envy Anna. I know if she had not lost her husband she probably would not have had the opportunity to spend night and day praying and fasting. I wouldn't want that to be the case for me at all! But I would love to spend more time with God. Just hours of worship, praying, meditating on Him, seeking Him in His Word. That sounds better than any spa day or island getaway.

As I dig deeper into her heart the first thing I notice is that upon loosing her husband 7 years into her marriage, she ran straight toward God. She knew that was where her comfort was. I am starting into year 7 with my hubby and I can't imagine being left without him. 7 years is such a short time. I admire her for not dwelling in her sorrow and falling into despair or sin.

She not only took refuge in God Himself, but also in the Temple. Her husband must have been the love of her life and I would guess that no one else (but God) could take his place. Also, maybe once her husband died she had nowhere else to go. That may have been the reason she never left the Temple. Her heart belonged to God and her love and she could give it to no one else. I completely get that!

She also gave herself wholly to prayer and fasting. Those two things are the two most powerful weapons in a Christians arsenal. Why did she devote herself so strongly to that? Again, as a woman whose heart is for God and her love I would venture to say it may have helped keep her mind off of loosing her husband. At least at first. Busy her mind with prayer and worship and she won't think about the pain. But I'm sure after 84 years of prayer and fasting it became something she loved to do out of reverence alone and not just to preoccupy her thoughts. 

Anna teaches me discipline. Anna teaches me how to deal with heartache. Anna teaches me a genuine desire for God. She is a woman to look up to. She was a mighty prayer warrior. What an example of a godly woman if there ever was one!

Sticks and Stones are Tree Trunks and Boulders

So, I've been really bothered lately about all the negative I hear from people... from me! Teasing people, calling people names. Mocking how a person is or how they look. People not being helpful and lending a hand. Grown adults that need a lesson or two in manners and just politeness in general.

People sharing mocking photos on Facebook of the President... Guilty
     He has feelings too
Stepping over trash in a parking lot because I didn't put it there... Guilty
    We are to be good stewards of what God has given us
Laughing at they way someone is dressed... Guilty
    The best and THEIR best are two different things
Holding a door for someone who is behind me because I'm in a hurry... Guilty
     It's not going to strap your time... and smile, they could use it!
Imitating someone's way talking... Guilty
    A person's speech does not always determine their intelligence
Scoffing at a person's personality... Guilty
    A person's personality is as unique as a snowflake, find the good in it.

I've taken a hard look at myself and how react/respond to people in every day life. People I converse on the phone with, people I see in the grocery store, people that walk into my church. Do help when I see a need? Do I turn away because they don't look/dress quite "nice enough"?

I judge them. I judge their clothes, I judge their speech, I judge their intelligence. They don't know... I would never tell them to their face what is in my head. But it is affecting them... What I'm thinking greatly effects how I treat them. How I show them love. How I help them.

Talking a few extra steps won't kill me. The Bible says if someone asks you to walk a mile with them, go with them two. That means, go above and beyond what is expected. Jesus went to the ones who didn't look a specific way. In fact... dirty, smelly shepherds were the first ones to see Jesus. Jesus touched the lepers, He walked into the ghetto, He hugged the homeless, He ate with the destitute... people considered (and literally) unclean.

I want to show the love of Christ to others, but am I actually showing the love of Christ?

What you think of people, what you say about people... whether they know it or not... it hurts them.

Define Barren

As I was diving head first into what I bet was the beginning stages of depression, I read a blog post about infertile women in the Bible and how ALL of them did have babies and those babies grew up to be great men of God. It changed my whole thinking about what I'm asking God for and not just praying for a baby, but praying for Jeremiah.
       *Side note: Just dawned on me that all the woman I'm aware of that dealt with barrenness were given boys :)

The blogger made note that as we pray for what it is we are longing for, the answer will come and will be a great tool for God to use. Think about Isaac, John the Baptist, Samuel, Joseph, Samson... what they did for God and how God used them. I started thinking about my Jeremiah and what he could become, and then that opened a whole new train of thought... Being barren is usually something attributed to the womb, infertility, but I looked up the word "Barren" and this is what it means... bleak and lifeless, too poor to produce much.

Is your marriage barren? Is your relationship with God barren? Are your finances barren? Is your church barren? Is your communication barren? Is your faith barren? Is your boldness barren? Is your Bible reading barren?

First, examine yourself first. Is it something you can fix or control?
Next, do like all the women whose wombs were barren did... cry out to God. Ask Him to help you. Ask Him to show you how to revive your connection with Him (the most important part). Don't just pray.... communicate with God. Yes, He knows what you want, but tell Him. Just like with kids "don't just grunt and point... use your words".
Lastly, thank God for the answer. Declare your answer will be just like Hannah's, Sarah's, Rachael's, Elizabeth's... be used mightily for the Kingdom. That your marriage, your bank account, your faith, your church, YOU will be a great tool for God to you use in reaching the lost and glorifying HIM.

A Higher Standard

I know Christians a lot of the times don't like to "confess" things that the Bible (or tradition) says is wrong. But, I feel God has laid it on my heart to share something that may help people (assuming anyone is reading this, lol)

A few weekends ago, me and my love went to Amish country. We were celebrating our 6th marriage anniversary. A few days before leaving I had this thought "When we get there, we could get some wine at a local shop to toast our marriage and celebrate. No one knows us there so we wouldn't feel like we had to hide our purchase or look over our shoulder". 

Now, before I continue, let me say one thing... The Bible truly isn't black and white clear on if drinking is a sin or not. There are scriptures that say its good in moderation, there are theologians that say there was a difference between fermented juice (alcoholic) and just fruit juice. What I'm about to state is how feel the Lord has spoke to me and why we did NOT buy wine and opted for Sparkling White Grape Juice instead.

There are things that the Bible says is sin, plain and simple and then there are things that tradition and society has stated Christians can't/shouldn't/don't do. And I'll be honest, I'm not sure 100% where alchohol falls... but I do know this....

Do not drink excessively (Ephesians 5:18)

If doing something (even though it isn't a sin) will ill effect another, don't do it (Romans 14)

The office of a Preacher/Bishop/Deacon is not to drink (I Timothy 3)

That last one is my biggest reason why I don't drink wine. I feel God has called me to preach. If I want to get as high in God as I can... I need to hold myself to that standard. 

Do I like wine? Yes. My mouth waters sometimes when I walk by that aisle at the store. Will I give into that temptation? No. I have a higher calling and if abstaining from that brings me closer to God and helps others to know Christ then not drinking wine (or any other alcohol) is something I'm more than happy to do.

A NOW Generation

God has really been dealing with me about receiving instantly. Not in the natural.... things from man, but supernatural, things from God. We are a now generation... have been for decades. Fast food, direct deposit, microwaves, Google... pretty much anything we want/need we expect it (and usually get it) fairly instantly. Why shouldn't we expect the same from God? People use to.
   -Jairus' dead daughter
   -The woman with the issue of blood
   -Lepers healed
   -The boy who fell from the window and died
   -The demon possessed man
   -The blind man sitting outside the city gates
I could go on and on... They told Jesus (or a disciple) what they needed and they got it.... instantly! It was said and done all within the same moment. We are such a now now now society so why not roll that over into our christian life? God did it then and He hasn't changed! We are the ones who have changed.

There are many reasons people don't get instant healing. They don't think God works like that anymore. They don't think it could be that easy. They don't think they deserve it. Regardless of the reason, it's all because of us and how we work our faith. I want to be so full of faith that the minute I ask for something, it's done. I can lay hands on a person they are instantly healed, restored, set free.

Think about it... If you believe God can give you salvation the instant you ask for it, why can't He heal you, free you, restore you instantly? Once we are saved the rest of it is automatically ours! Just accept it!

"I need to know what to call my nephew"

I can't explain how I feel after sharing our little one's name. For so long I didn't want to say anything for fear of the just in case... get my hopes up. Between sharing on my blog {Facebook} and telling a few people in person that I know have been praying for specifically us and a baby, I'm almost as giddy as if I were announcing the pregnancy itself. I'm excited to share we have named our son. To know there are friends and family that praying and now they can pray for Jeremiah by name. Hearing my best friend say "I need to know what to call my nephew" helped settle my heart from the doubt of "what if".

You may think "what if you have a girl?". Then we'll pick a girl's name :) But... I'm believing for a son.

I want all boys, but I definitely want our first to be a son. I want however many more we have to have a big brother to lead and protect them, I want my husband to have a son, I want to give my dad a grandson (he has all girls), I want the Langford name to go at least one more generation.

From the excitement shared from just telling you all Jeremiah's name, I can't wait until I can announce when he's coming. In the past 6 years I have never had such peace and excitement about it. It's truly given me fire (just like the Bible's Jeremiah).

Next act of faith... Buying the "Come Home" outfit :)

Jeremiah Ryan

So... a few days ago a Bible study group I'm in started into reading Luke. I was reading chapter one where Gabriel came to Elizabeth and Zacharias and told them they would have son. Zacharias doubted and in return God shut his mouth until his son was named... not just when he was born, but when Zacharias declared what his name would be... that's when God opened his mouth. Instantly God spoke to me... I have been made speechless because of my doubt where a baby is concerned. I am believing for a baby, a son but I have moments of doubt. When I name my seed, I'll be able to speak... declare the glory of God. Most don't know this.. in fact, I just told my best friend.... we have had name picked out for a son for about 3 years. I need to start speaking like my little boy is already here. So, I am naming my seed {out loud}. Join me in praying for my little Jeremiah Ryan. Pray he will be healthy, pray he will grow in Christ and become a man of God declaring how good our Lord is. I can't wait to hold my Jeremiah in my arms... until then, I will pray for him. Pray for the little boy and man he will be.